Actual title- Akatsuki mission, ‘Invade D.C.’: Success! Trouble for Bush, an artist’s vacation.

I was trying to make it in the proper style, you know what I mean (Like those titles
that give away basically the entire episode/chapter to the point where it’s pointless to actually read the chapter. Yeah...those).

Surprisingly enough, it didn’t except this title (both the first and second time I’m writing this. Damn You, Deviantart! Damn YOU!). It’s probably because it’s too long…or it could be because of…..nope, you know what, it’s probably just the length.

Anyways, this is Deidara reporting, yeah. Infiltration of the U.S. capitol is complete. It was actually ridiculously easy. All I had to do was go through some metal detectors…and, that was about it. Yeah….I know.

Actually, I’m kind of bored. I was hoping to see some form of explosion during my trip, seeing as their so worried about it (and people don’t get worried if there isn’t a threat, right?), but no such luck. Apparently America is composed of paranoid idiots…or at least the government is…

…Well, we can all agree that there is, at least, one of them there.

Despite my obvious disappointment, I am completing my mission as directed. I’m remaining under my cover. Not blowing stuff up. Yeah. Boring stuff. One of the few eventful occurrences to report are frequent flashing and blinking lights, that would have kept Tobi busy for hours, followed by loud noises, numerous black vehicles, and lots of buff, bald men wearing sunglasses, glaring at anyone they passed. But seeing as I live with Itachi’s ‘go get cancer and die in a fire’ glare on a daily basis, they just looked constipated.

Since infiltration was completed so easily, I have begun developing a plan…No, Leader, I’m not stupid enough to start without back up. But I swear, if you send Tobi again, I’ll kill you. Need I remind you what happened last time (points at chapter 358). Not much help.

Anyways, the plan. So far it consists mainly of the use of clay ducks. And squirrels. Both animas are in overabundance in the region and seemingly ignored. It’s still in the developing stages though….

I’ve moved on to gathering intelligence recently. But I must point out how I still find it terribly stupid that you send the attention deficit pyromaniac with a tendency to be a little trigger happy with his clay, to do he spy job.

I guess I was the best option though, huh? What with Kisame visiting his relatives this summer at Sea World and Itachi spending time with his pet- I mean, brother. Yeah, brother. Kakuzu has about four jobs and Hidan is possibly the only worse possible option than me seeing as he would kill everyone…not that great get when ‘keeping a low profile’. No wait, I take that back, Zetsu would be worse. He’d eat everyone. Tobi, scary enough, might actually be in his element here. There are enough idiots. (Don’t you dare try to pawn him off on me though! I swear I’ll blow the whole thing to bits if you do, I swear it!)

Right, so where was I? Intelligence gathering, yeah. So it’s going good, but I can tell it is going to be long and tedious. Better make use of this freakin’ ritzy hotel. I still have no idea how I ended up here, seeing as Kakuzu would have an absolute fit if he could see the bill for one night, let alone a week plus, but I’m not arguing. They have this huge free breakfast every morning and free food and drinks from five to eight and these computers all around the lobby with free internet. What the hell? And no, I’m not typing up important secret documents on a lobby computer. I’m using my laptop….that I borrowed from someone else.

Anyways, I’m hoping it’s not going to be too bad, yeah. The info gathering, that is. They have a spy museum, which should prove interesting, or, at the least, amusing. Oh, and they have an entire building devoted to money. They actually make it there. Kakuzu would be in heaven. Thirty two million dollars was only a layer of plexiglass and a five foot drop away. It would have been so easy, just one little explosion. Damn ‘under cover’. Ruins all my fun…yeah. Now I know how Hidan feels when he gets sent on a mission but can’t kill anyone…kind of…not really, but I’m not entirely sure I’d want to anyways.

On the subject of Hidan…. Thanks to you, I can’t walk by the Washington Monument without thinking of some horrible perverted joke you would come up with about it. He has officially infected my mind.

Leader, I expect my therapy to be included in my health care plan.

I’ve also tried to make myself more cultured. I’ve visited at least four different art museums. All with different kinds of art. I’m attempting to learn how to better appreciate all art. Aren’t you proud Sasori-danna! …Although I still don’t get Matisse cutouts. Andy Warhol, Roy Liechtenstein, Picasso, Braque, Pollock, Caulder, I’ve got it. Matisse, not so much. Yeah.

Anyways, that’s about it. I saw these weird Imax movies. One was about collisions and explosions and the other was about space and stuff. But it was so trippy I really have no idea what they were talking about. There were colors and lights and moving things and pretty patterns and, and, yeah. Oh and I also saw the Hope Diamond. My evil villain senses were tingling, but don’t worry, I didn’t do anything. But I wanted to.

Well, yeah I’m pretty much done now…yeah. I said I was bored.

Oh, and the Subway is very annoying at times.

(The above is partial fact, partial fiction. You figure it out for yourself. It shouldn’t be that hard. Oh and by the way, today is my 16th birthday so yay for me! I’ll be back Tuesday, so you guys had better have something accomplished by then. This means all of you. We only have two weeks ‘til Metrocon!)